Jack Thorne talks recruiting trips as an openly gay athlete

Jack Thorne, a swimmer in Colorado and soon to be Divison 1 NCAA athlete, took the time to write about the recruiting process as an openly gay athlete. Here is what he had to share:

            I like to think that I approached the recruiting process like any other athlete did. I was nervous about the team liking me, me liking the team, the coaches, the location, and 50 other things, well 51 actually. Most kids going through this process don’t have to worry about how their sexuality is going to influence their recruiting experience. Throughout recruiting I was very cognizant of the fact that the coaches and the team could know that I was openly gay. I had one coach bring it up to me and he was incredibly positive. On my trips I was also very aware of the fact that I was out. I also realized that while I was “out”, I was not necessarily out to the team or the coaches.

Going on my four recruiting trips there were a few things that I looked for in the schools. I looked for out members on the team, I looked for a school that had a positive and inclusive environment, I looked for a team that didn’t use homophobic slurs, one that treated it’s out participants no differently than any other member of the team. One of the things that I thought was most important was how the team interacted with each other and with those of them who were out.  My team here in colorado treats me the exact same way they did before I came out, the few slurs they were using stopped almost instantly. I wanted a team environment like that, I wanted one where I can come onto the team and be myself. Being on a team where I felt like I had to hide again would be miserable, I want to be able to have my boyfriend at team events and at meets and not have to worry that we would be treated differently. I wanted a team that would judge me based on my personality and work ethic rather than who I was with romantically.

 All four of the schools I had to choose between had some involvement with the LGBT community. Wisconsin and now Penn State both work with You Can Play, which, to me, said something about the school, the staff, and the students. At the Wisconsin football game, there was an ad on the big screen for You Can Play and some of the swimmers had rainbow buttons on their backpacks. Being in this environment helped me realize that If I went there I would most likely be accepted. There were similar experiences at the other three schools, either a swimmer made a positive comment to or about someone who was LGBT, or someone who said a slur was called out on it. These all made me feel like I would be part of a great team.

To sum everything up, I looked for a school where I thought I’d be happy and healthy. I still looked at everything else an athlete needs to look at from the food, to the weight room, to the location. The only thing added into that mix was that I was looking for an inclusive team that would accept me for who I am and wouldn't treat me any differently than they would if I were straight.   

Dealing With Stigma Against The LGBT Community

Unfortunately, many of us will experience or witness a situation where someone is being victimized due to their gender identity or sexual orientation at some point in our lives. The use of offensive language is common in a lot of places and physical violence is also a traumatic issue. Prejudice and hatefulness will always exist among some people and it can be difficult to prevent these things from happening altogether. However, there are a few important things to think about so that you can be prepared for an uncomfortable situation and minimize the damage caused.

One thing to consider is how to respond to someone who is using offensive language or gestures. It can be tempting to confront that person with anger and aggression because it raises our emotions. Meeting someone’s derogatory behavior with inappropriate language or offending them in return is counterproductive to the cause. What we want is for them to act in a way that is respectful and tolerant, regardless of their beliefs. Our actions need to advertise that courtesy, despite our feelings towards the offender, so that we can promote appropriate behavior.

What actions can we take if we see someone being physically or verbally victimized? In a public setting, it can be easy to assume that someone else will help and not take action. That often isn’t the case. One effective way to deal with the situation is to aid the victim rather than attack the offender. Offer them your company and be supportive. Reassurance that someone is there for you can provide comfort and safety under stressful circumstances.

It can be hard to understand why people act in a way that is harmful to others. Jeff Stone, a professor at the University of Arizona, once told me that fear of something unknown is a major cause of prejudiced behavior. People will lash out at us because they don’t understand our lifestyles and are not educated about what it means to be LGBT. They may be afraid because they don’t have any perspective. In many cases, these situations are unfortunately due to the way the offender was raised or because they have adopted the views of influential people in their lives instead of educating themselves and forming their own opinions. We can’t control this, but we can have some comfort in knowing that there are outside factors that influence bias. These types of things can severely compromise a victim's mental health if they believe that they somehow caused the situation or that they deserved mistreatment due to their self-identity. Having experienced emotional or physical abuse, it is important for a victim to have closure of the situation in realizing that it was not their fault.

I asked some of our group members for their thoughts on this topic:

How would you approach someone who is using offensive language or gestures?

 “I would be angry if their gestures offended me. I wouldn't seek to offend them back or be rude per say, but I would show them through body language/tone of voice that I am not tolerant of their behavior.” –Caroline Johnston (University of Florida)
"I would stand by them. Victims of bullying are seen as easy targets. By coming together, it gives the victim support and shows the perpetrator that they are not alone. No one should be victimized for their sexuality. Sexuality is a spectrum. People need to start realizing that." -Cole Stroop (University of North Carolina)

What actions would you take if you saw someone being victimized due to their gender identity or sexual orientation?

 “I would go to the person being victimized and ask them if they want me to help them get away from that person. If they needed to get away I would help them. I would also call out the person that is victimizing them.” -Bonnie Brandon (University of Arizona).

What do you think are some possible causes for this type of behavior?

“I believe that often people are ignorant, but usually, they are not alone when acting this way.  When I have observed and/or experienced it, the individual is with others.  It is usually something to show off to friends.  I also believe it is out of fear of they themselves being outed so they need to hide it and do it in derogatory or violent terms.” –Regi Munro (University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire and Arizona State University)
"Generally I believe this behavior stems from insecurity, fear of differences, and lack of understanding" -Drew Martin (Texas Christian University and Mississippi State University)

Students Producing Allied Community Equality

S.P.A.C.E. (Students Producing Allied Community Equality) is a group dedicated to visible support for LGBT equality on campuses from students, administrators, and alumni. Members of the LGBTQ+ community and Straight Allies will work together to advertise support for equal rights. Members pledge to take a stand against prejudice, hate speech, and exclusion. These individuals are dedicated to making every person feel safer in their respective communities. The group is based out of the University of Arizona, but includes members from many schools around the country. This blog is where we will give information about projects as well as posts from members. The group can also be found at https://www.facebook.com/groups/702757906477947/