Matt Korman shares about the coming out process

  Matt Korman, swimmer at the University of Texas, shared his thoughts on what is important about the coming out process. He highlights the difficulties many of us face and the outcomes of the process.

       Coming out is the single most challenging decisions an LGBT person will have to make. It sounds so simple yet actually saying “I am gay” can be some of the hardest words to string together. Whether it’s telling your mother, father, friends or teammates, taking that final step can feel as if you’re walking on the edge of a cliff. But in my experience, I found it to be one of the most liberating times of my life. What’s important throughout this process is that you take care of yourself. Gaining a positive gay, lesbian or bisexual gender identity can be difficult; if it were easy in today’s culture everyone would be doing it. Battling homophobic attitudes and discriminatory practices is a daily challenge that must be met with caution, care and confidence.         

         We train just as hard, we want it just as much and we are hungrier than most. As an LGBT athlete, I have seen how far we have come and how much further we need to go. The most difficult part for LGBT athletes is gaining that sense understanding combined with the visibility that we need to level the playing field. Homophobia is too pervasive in our society to be ejected from our consciousness, especially in the locker room, on the field and in the pool. As long as homophobia exists, the LGBT youth has some very real and legitimate fear. There are many people, especially in the athletic world, who aren’t ready to accept LGBT athletes…this is not your problem. It is not your burden to bear their insecurities and close-mindedness on your shoulders simply because they believe you are different. Instead of wasting your time and energy on these people, forgive them and move on by staying level headed and reasonable. Although it is difficult not to get angry with these people, fighting them with kindness is beating them at their own game. Being confident in yourself and expressing sureness is one of the most powerful messages you can send. Projecting pride in who you are also allows you to feel more comfortable in your own skin. In doing so, you have the power to change people’s perceptions on LGBT athletes and the LGBT community. More often than not, when the situation becomes personal people begin to invest more in educating themselves on the issue. Going to school in one of the most conservative states in the country, I know first-hand how cruel some people can be. On the flip side, I also have learned how compassionate and accepting people can be once they look past the idea that one’s sexuality defines who they are as a person.  Slowly tearing down the walls of bigotry is no easy feat and cannot be done overnight. In educating and exposing people to the LGBT community and the members who encompass it, we can gradually begin to change the negative stigmas that people still have about us.